“Dancing around the windmill” from the book 40 Humourous British Traditions

An excerpt from the book 40 Humourous British Traditions

At ten past eight, the potential idiots start dancing through the sails carrying their vats with them. The contest is judged
by three umpires who perform various tasks. The contestants are supposed to avoid the sails by either slowing down or
speeding up their dance, but they must never stop or they will be penalized a point by an umpire. Dancers must not move
more than 10 feet from the windmill or they will be deducted a point. Contestants who are hit by a sail are either deducted
a point if they remain conscious or disqualified if they have to be sent to the hospital by the umpire. If the umpires deduct
three points from a contestant then their contest is over. The contest continues until there is only one person left who
hasn’t been disqualified.