The St Andrews Seed Sessions – Part 3

Competitions for each fruit’s seeds are contested on separate days allowing generalists and specialists to compete on equal terms. Seeds travel furthest in the squeezing events. The overall distance record is the 474 feet seven inches that an orange pip travelled in 1928 after it had been squeezed between the middle finger and thumb of Dougal MacDonald from Lossiemouth. MacDonald was accused of cheating by fellow competitors as the pip had been aerodynamically carved beforehand, so competitors are no longer allowed to bring their own seeds with them. Instead they are allocated a pip or seed from a variety of their choice and must use it otherwise they are disqualified for time-wasting.

The spitting contests are normally the least popular with spectators because of the potential inaccuracy of amateur spitters. Judges wear gloves and surgical masks to reduce the chances of contamination; all seeds are removed using either tweezers or calipers and are then burnt, unless a record has been set in which case they are sent to the spitting museum and planted for prosperity. The record for spitting a seed is 368 feet two inches by Mrs Elsie Anderson of Tobermory, whose record has stood since 1921. She spat a pip from a Red Victoria apple using her tongue to apply topspin in a technique she referred to as ‘tossing the caber.’ Apples from this tree fetch a high price from contestants anxious to win a prize; since 1921 pips from apples grown on this tree have been used by eight winners of the Apple Pip spitting contest and are thus justly regarded as the thoroughbreds of the apple pip world.

The accuracy contests take place over distances ranging from five to 50 yards. Five matches are stuck into wax and contestants have to knock down as many as possible using a maximum of 10 seeds in the quickest time possible. Extra points are awarded if the match is ignited by the seed. Again contestants spit, flick and squeeze their seeds at the targets.

The legendary Elsie Anderson holds the record for the apple seed spitting accuracy contest, scoring 806 points in 1922 when she ignited all five matches in five seconds from a distance of 20 yards using her ‘Highland Fling’ technique. This involves rolling her tongue around the pip and blowing hard to impart sidespin before spitting the pip at the target.

Elsie Anderson’s mother knew her daughter would excel at these events as she had shown promise from an early age: “why, when Elsie was seven years old, we baked her a cake and put the candles on and lit them. When she tried to blow them out she blew them clear off the cake, setting fire to the cat and the curtains. The icing finished all over the wall and the wee decorations smashed the plates on the dresser.”

Not all contestants have been as successful as Elsie Anderson. In 1968 Walter Nesbit from Crianlarich recorded the shortest distance ever for a seed squeeze – six inches. His explanation was as follows: “somehow the seed moved between my thumb and forefinger so that it came out upwards rather than forwards – the seed rebounded off the end of my nose and barely made it over the starting line – I was so embarrassed.” What Mr Nesbit failed to mention was that all his previous attempts had gone up his nostrils and hadn’t registered any distance at all.

This extract is from 40 Humourous British Traditions available for $0.99 for a limited period only.