Spoof obituary

Found in this book – including the following excerpt:

Topper was once shot down near Switzerland and injured his leg, but still hopped across the border disguised as a one-legged onion-seller from Provence. The Swiss authorities spirited him back to England, where after three days rest, he was back shooting Jerry, though this time it was the husband of the lady who was helping his leg heal. Topper maintained self-defence.

After the war Smythe founded a number of companies in Northern Canada producing T-Shirts. He enjoyed bad relations with the unions, who accused him of not heating his factories – Smythe said he didn’t want to be accused of running a sweat shop in the Yukon, so if there was no heat then people couldn’t sweat. Smythe often stood in Albertan elections against Ralph Klein, whom he regarded as a “socialist of the highest order”, but he garnered few votes.

Hugo Arbuthnot-Smythe was married five times, including a whirlwind romance with a cheese maker from Berne. He is survived by seven daughters and six sons. A son from his third marriage, Jason, was tragically killed during a practice duel with Topper in 2004 and Smythe never really recovered from the blow. He hadn’t been aiming at Jason but at his second whom he considered to be ‘liberal’.